The 5 Most Humiliating Orson Welles Adverts
1. Dark Tower Board Game
Trying to flog a children’s board-game is obviously below the great man, but at least his built-in sense of atmosphere and mystery add something to the cheap spectacle, and the game actually seems almost half-decent.
A great deal for the makers of Dark Tower. Not so much for the ailing master.
Product Fit Rating: 8
Drunk Rating: 0
Humiliation Rating: 4
2. Vivitar Compact Camera
For the man who practically reinvented cinematography on the set of Citizen Kane, trying to sell a cheap compact camera must have been too much to take sober.
Product Fit Rating: 7
Drunk Rating: 7
Humiliation Rating: 6
3. G&G Nikka Japanese Whiskey
Nikka Whiskey taps into Welles’s bon viveur reputation to sell its Japanese G&G brand whiskey. Considering his famous problems on the set of Paul Masson, he actually seems in comparative control.
Product Fit Rating: 7
Drunk Rating: 7
Humiliation Rating: 6
4. Findus Frozen Peas
Possibly Welles’s most infamous voiceover, with the blooper reel, featuring him at his sozzled, irascible best, eclipsing the adverts themselves in terms of notoriety.
Product Fit Rating: 1
Drunk Rating: 9
Humiliation Rating: 8
5. Nashua Photocopiers
Applying zero effort to selling a boring product made by a company no one has heard of. An absolute low.
Product Fit Rating: 0
Drunk Rating: 6
Humiliation Rating: 10
Related
- The Sad Case of Orson Welles & Paul Masson
- Paul Masson - The Gielgud Years
- More vintage Welles ads from the Paul Masson Era
- Welles Was The Host Who Roasted The Most
Two icons collide to create SuperMoz, part of a series of Post-Punk Super-Friends rendered by the superb Butcher Billy.
Source: behance.net
Some people can’t tell where it hurts. They can’t calm down. They can’t ever stop howling.
Completely nuts music promo for Wild Nothing’s track A Dancing Shell by my colleague Hayley Akins.
Got to admire a video with the guts to not really get going until about 30 seconds in.
Credits
Directed by Hayley Akins
Animation by Hayley Akins & Andy Williams
Paintings by Eric Shaw
Jealousy was a fat, chalk-white snake in his chest. It writhed slowly, as pure as innocence and childishly plain.
